The Blob

Yah. I’m still fat. Since x’mas I have been controlling my food intake. Serious. I have been having only salads for lunch. Sometimes with a little canned tuna, boiled ‘taters, grilled chooks or just plain greens. So far I am still standing up n breathing ok. Kinda made me discover that I can live without rice. But I can’t go for more than a day without bread. I still need that little bit of starch/carbo thing to get my day going. So I indulge a little bit.

Breakfast… nutella and peanut butter between 2 slices of bread. Huh? What kind of a diet is that? But I find that if I just slather butter n sugar or plain pbj… it doesn’t work for me. I’ll be damn peckish by 10.30am. So by trial n error, nutella n peanut butter is just nice. I’ll be felling slightly peckish by 11.45am or so… I’ll stave it off by drinking about a 300-400ml of plain water. Then just nice, I’ll have my lunch at 12.15pm. All thanks to bibik, I don’t have to wake up any earlier to pack the lunch. Bless her soul! Dinner, depends. Sometimes I’ll be working late in the office, so I don’t have the energy to eat when I get home.

Usually dinner is just a full cup of low-fat milk. Either HL or Meiji. Other than those two, the other brands taste a little flat. But I can’t stomach HL chocolate, banana or strawberry flavours. But I got to make it known, oat milk tastes great. At the moment I just cant remember the brand. Was it marigold… or magnolia… I only recall that it starts from letter M…mmmmmm nice! If I feel really hungry when I get home, I’ll just take whatever is for dinner in a small bowl just to keep my stomach filled. And yeah, no rice. Serious!

It went ok… for a while.

Then my weight reached a plateau. Didn’t move. I got so stressed! No matter how much I sweated at the gym, it just won’t melt off. Do you know how depressing it was? Still is! So now if I knock off early, I will walk the whole of jpt. No spending (ok, mb just a little bit). Then I’ll take the bus home, drop a bus stop further from my place AND continue walking. If I am at the gym, I’ll stick the cross trainer like glue, until my knees feel like jelly and still it will hover at that dreaded weight. I wonder if cutting my hair shorter will make me weigh less. Hahaha! What a stupid thought!

But I make exceptions for… sushi!

This is a daily battle for me. And it makes it harder when people keep saying that I am fat, I never seem to stop eating, and all those negative comments. God! You think I like being fat? But I wont go to the extent of dieting and surviving on coffee and crackers. Everyday. My ex-schoolmate was a regular in NUH. Forever on a drip. It messed up her internals so much she couldn’t conceive and went through, I think, two miscarriages. That count was when I last met her 4 years ago. Tu keje bodoh. She was so conscious of looking good that she sometimes wouldn’t let anything pass her lips. Even though it was clear to all that she was in a cold sweat and about to pass out. Stupid!

I’d rather be a little filled-out and healthy, rather than stick-thin and miserable. I mean, how can any stick insect live in Singapore when there are so many foods to try out? But losing a few inches would be nice. It sounds nicer to ask for a medium size than a large size. I realised that it’s more satisfying to see my weight drop in terms of clothes sizes than by weight. Wish me luck!

It's OK to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
Roseanne Arnold