Fill In The Blank

It was a perfect Friday. Things were going unbelievingly smooth. It was nearing knock-off time. Then I went blank. My mind literally went blank. I couldn’t remember what the hell I was doing. And I was midway into a drawing set. Something so familiar that I can do it even in my sleep. For the love of God, what am I supposed to do next?

I just went totally blank. My neurons weren’t connecting.

WHAT AM I DOING?

I cant even give an answer at that point in time if my boss were to ask me. It’s amazing how peaceful and scary that can be. I just sat there and stared at my computer screen, willing my brain to somehow switch back “on”. But it was done for the day. Try as I may, nothing clicked. So for the remaining, what…, half hour or so, I stared, blinking and open-mouthed at my computer screen.

A ringing telephone woke me up from my stupor. I packed up my things and left the office. I nid to think. About what? I don’t know. Go where? I don’t know. I just neded someone to talk to. To offload.

Its Friday, fergodsakes. People got plans. Who the hell would want to spend time being a shoulder to a neurotic loon who lost it in the office?

Running through my contact list, I manage to get a good friend of mine to please meet up with me. She had ship-bunkering to attend to, but she’ll dump it and meet me anyways. God bless for a friend like her.

So while waiting for her to knock off, I took the train without any solid plans. And just headed east. Alighted at cityhall station and walked aimlessly through citilink. Didn’t feel like eating, didn’t feel like stopping by the shoe shops, just walked and walked and walked. Walked into hmv, hoping I could find an album to cheer me up. Found nothing, except a headache from all the loud music they were playing. Left the place.

Walked on to mph. heaven. Had nothing in mind, just browsed the shelves randomly. Picking up any book which had an interesting title or cover. Just read passages here and there. But nothing interesting enough to make me bring out the wallet. Just as well.

My friend called, said she has left the office. So ok, we’ll meet at vivo. At least there’s B&J.

Upon meeting her at candy empire (our meeting point), I burst into tears. It just happened. And I was shaking. My hands were literally shaking. Right there and then in the middle of candy empire. I didn’t care that people were staring at me. I know those idiots were. My friend had to hold my hand and guide me out of the shop, I was still crying like a baby.

She has never seen me like this through-out our friendship. I told her that I just went blank in the office. Just like that. I couldn’t think. I was scared. i… i… I was at a loss for words, for once. She didn’t say anything. Just walked beside me. I guess that’s what I needed at that moment. Someone to hear me talk and not make any judgments.

Thank you friend for being there when I really needed someone at that scary moment. I don’t know where I would have ended up that evening.

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
Robert Brault